The Abyss
Daniel Park Day 35 Dear log, it’s been over a month since the collision with the asteroid field and the loss of communication with Earth. The Atsium has been severely damaged, and many of the mineral samples collected from SP2HA-1 are lost or destroyed. Luckily, none of the crew were injured. The Atsium is on a direct course for Earth, but it is impossible to estimate the duration of travel due to wrecked equipment… I can only hope for the best. Day 52 Dear log, I miss the talk and touch of other humans. I miss playing chess with Ericka, cooking with Paulie, and joking with Elliot. During my darkest moments, I wish to wake them from hypersleep—but I cannot. It is my duty as captain to make sure we get home safely. Day 79 Dear log, I successfully rationed out the amount of food and water I have left. Emergency rations last around 1 month per person, but since crew members are in hypersleep, I have 4 times the food and water. Hopefully, we will get home sooner. Day 92 Dear log, there is still no sign of our solar system. Each day, I pray and try to not lose hope, but looking into the abysmal, infinite black of space is terrifying. It also does not help that the only music that survived the collision was Elliot’s Christian hymns. I’ve already listened to “Day by Day” a thousand times. Each time, it gets worse and worse… Day 116 Dear log, the hum of the Atsium is starting to drive me insane. At this point, I’m wondering if this mission was worth it. I know that this would potentially save humanity by relocating us from our polluted home, but SP2HA-1 and the other exo-planets we visited have proven impossible to sustain humans. What is the point of finding a habitable planet if I’m not going to live to see it colonized? Day 134 Dear log, there is something peaceful about waiting for my inevitable doom. Drifting through space alone with no control over the vessel or my own fate is quite tranquil. I pass time by reflecting on my life. It is fun and infuriating to think about the perfect orchestra of events that led me to this situation. If I never went to MIT to get my PhD in astrophysics, I wouldn’t be here. If I didn’t go through training to become an astronaut, I wouldn't be here. If I never agreed to captaining the Atsium to SP2HA-1, I wouldn’t be here. But I shouldn’t think like this. I must remain hopeful for everyone’s sake… Day 145 Dear log, food and water ran out quicker than expected. There is still no sign of Earth. I'm so lonely. I want to wake up the other crew members from hypersleep, but I can’t put them through this stress. That would be selfish. On the other hand, if our doom really is inevitable, would it be wrong to let my crew sleep their lives away? Day 178 Dear log, I am worried about my ability to make these logs because I'm starting to hear voices. They’re telling me to wake the other members. They’re telling me to take my own life. They’re telling me there’s no hope. Day 189 Dear log, I almost woke them up. I had to fight myself from burdening them with consciousness. In my hallucinations, I see faces I don’t recognize. I want to close my eyes. I want this to end. Day 190 Dear log, the mission to SP2HA-1 has failed. If anyone finds this, please share this story with my family and the world. This will be my last voice log… goodnight. |